Dad's Dream House
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When I was in sixth grade and living in Mesa, Arizona, my
folks decided to move the family to Blanding, Utah. As part of the move, Dad decided he wanted to
build his dream home. He didn’t want to
have someone else build it, he wanted to do the whole thing himself. As a young man, he had spent many of his
summers working various construction jobs and could do it all. I guess he wanted see if he could pull it
off.
I recall that he started the project even before the
official move happened. He bought a
piece of land that had belonged to his mother and got busy. I travelled to Blanding a couple of times
before the family arrived to help him over long weekends. We did have basic power tools, but all the
framing, plywood and sheet rock was nailed by hand. At the time I was 11 years old, I was the
oldest boy, but dad expected all of his kids to work hard.
Over the next several years, our family of 11 lived in a double wide trailer on the property while we built Dad’s Dream House. Dad used his sons (and daughters) as much as their age would allow but the bulk of the help was provided by mom and the 4 oldest kids. Nearly every day after school and most weekends; rain, snow or sweltering heat; up before the roosters or flood lights shining into the night; we worked on the house. And worked on the house. And worked on the house. On rare occasions, I would ask dad if it was OK to spend Saturday with friends. He usually allowed me to go but I felt guilty leaving, and my younger brothers weren’t too happy because they had to pick up my slack.
But we built THE. WHOLE. DANG. HOUSE! We dug trenches, poured concrete, framed walls, laid joists, pulled wires, soldered pipes, nailed plywood, installed shingles, carried mortar, put up drywall, painted ceilings, put down carpet, hung doors, installed fixtures, glued up wallpaper and bandaided blisters. Dad did, however, spend a few bucks to have someone install the insulation (thank the heavens).
In short, my brothers and I gave up most of our early teenage years to building Dad’s Dream House. Our friends all did teenage things and we were building the house. They went to games and up to the mountain and we worked on the house. They watched videos and ‘hung out’ while we built a house. This bothered me at the time and to be transparent, it bugged me for many years thereafter.
Fast forward about 20 years and I was putting an addition on my own home. I was patiently (yeah, right!) trying to teach my own two sons how to properly frame up a wall. My friend had dropped by to say hello and when we took a break I said in exasperation, “It would be easier to just do it myself!” to which he replied, “yeah, but you’re trying to raise boys, not just walls”. In a flash of memory and of pure clarity it dawned on me………………. that’s what my father had done for me and my brothers so many years ago.
For all those years I thought my father was using his boys to build his dream house. Turns out, he was using his house to build his dream boys.
Now, my brothers and I are far from being ‘dream boys’ but that doesn’t diminish the herculean attempt by my father. It’s amazing how time and perspective can change ones mind. With the passage of time and the luxury of parenting experience, my annoyance (being bugged) has turned into intense gratitude.
Thanks dad, for ‘making’ us build your dream house.
Over the next several years, our family of 11 lived in a double wide trailer on the property while we built Dad’s Dream House. Dad used his sons (and daughters) as much as their age would allow but the bulk of the help was provided by mom and the 4 oldest kids. Nearly every day after school and most weekends; rain, snow or sweltering heat; up before the roosters or flood lights shining into the night; we worked on the house. And worked on the house. And worked on the house. On rare occasions, I would ask dad if it was OK to spend Saturday with friends. He usually allowed me to go but I felt guilty leaving, and my younger brothers weren’t too happy because they had to pick up my slack.
But we built THE. WHOLE. DANG. HOUSE! We dug trenches, poured concrete, framed walls, laid joists, pulled wires, soldered pipes, nailed plywood, installed shingles, carried mortar, put up drywall, painted ceilings, put down carpet, hung doors, installed fixtures, glued up wallpaper and bandaided blisters. Dad did, however, spend a few bucks to have someone install the insulation (thank the heavens).
In short, my brothers and I gave up most of our early teenage years to building Dad’s Dream House. Our friends all did teenage things and we were building the house. They went to games and up to the mountain and we worked on the house. They watched videos and ‘hung out’ while we built a house. This bothered me at the time and to be transparent, it bugged me for many years thereafter.
Fast forward about 20 years and I was putting an addition on my own home. I was patiently (yeah, right!) trying to teach my own two sons how to properly frame up a wall. My friend had dropped by to say hello and when we took a break I said in exasperation, “It would be easier to just do it myself!” to which he replied, “yeah, but you’re trying to raise boys, not just walls”. In a flash of memory and of pure clarity it dawned on me………………. that’s what my father had done for me and my brothers so many years ago.
For all those years I thought my father was using his boys to build his dream house. Turns out, he was using his house to build his dream boys.
Now, my brothers and I are far from being ‘dream boys’ but that doesn’t diminish the herculean attempt by my father. It’s amazing how time and perspective can change ones mind. With the passage of time and the luxury of parenting experience, my annoyance (being bugged) has turned into intense gratitude.
Thanks dad, for ‘making’ us build your dream house.
___________________________________________________
David J. Laws is an administrator and adjunct faculty in the
Mechanical Engineering Department at Brigham Young University. He has worked in the Automotive, Furniture
and Medical Device Industries and holds 14 patents across all three
fields. Products he helped develop have
sold in excess of $100 million worldwide.
David has both a B.S. and M.S. in Mechanical Engineering from BYU. 
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