Improving Your Level of Influence

by Rick A. Laws

 

I have worked for the same company for the past 15 years and as expected, have developed many diverse relationships.  I have gone to parties to celebrate holidays, birthdays and other joyous occasions.  I’ve spent time with some on a personal level and created some long lasting friendships. In recent years I’ve worked out of my home office and gained friendships with many, simply by our frequent conference calls and personal phone calls.  Fifteen years brings with it many uplifting experiences and on occasion some awful events (I recall a time where a disgruntled worker walked into one of our offices and killed some of our coworkers). 

 

Each time I heard of these unfortunate situations, I was saddened for those that died, concerned for their loved ones and I even prayed for peace for all who were involved and impacted.  I knew some of them personally and others I had met once or twice at company functions.  Still others were known only by name and perhaps an occasional chat on the phone.  But there is one man whose impact and influence affected me beyond the average work-day interaction; above and beyond that of a daily “water cooler” chat; and even beyond the influence of those that I have known for a long time. 

 

You see, I have pondered the lives of many people including family, relatives, friends, acquaintances and even strangers.  Who are they?  What have they done in their lives, both personally and professionally?  Did their influence and work matter to anyone but them?  Who have they impacted or who will they impact?  Was their impact and influence positive or negative?  Were they generally loved or not?   In short; what was their legacy and will they be missed?

 

Let me qualify my story by saying this: I really like people in general and when they are gone, I feel like they will be missed. For a short time, I think about them and maybe some of the things we did or talked about.  Of course there may be occasions that remind me of them and so I may smile or feel sad based on the memory.   But that too is short lived.

 

That leads me to Rob.  I have worked with Rob most of my time with this company.  Rob was one of the few people that I would call on when the solution to a problem has eluded me, or when I didn’t have the tools to troubleshoot or test to the fullest.  Rob (and some others) was a developer in our company and he KNEW stuff.  Not only did he know stuff, but he was soft spoken, patient, helpful, kind, courteous and some other attributes that can be found in the boy scout law.   Although it seems odd to say in a business setting, he seemed to be a very loving individual.  I never met Rob.  I simply worked with him over the phone while sometimes remotely sharing the screen of a computer.  I don’t even think I know what he looks like.  I don’t know if he had a family or what his hobbies were.  But when Rob died a few months back and I received the notice by email, I sat back in my chair, and I CRIED!!  I work out of my home office, so there was no one that could ask what was wrong.  There was no reason to feel ashamed for my tears and therefore no reason to hold back.

 

Rob quietly had an impact on my life and neither he nor I knew it until his passing.  In fact, I asked him for some help just one week prior to his passing.  He told me that he would look in to the problem and get back to me.  He did, and once again, with his help, the issue was resolved.  I later found out from one of his teammates that Rob was in the hospital getting treatment and holding on to hope while providing the assistance I needed.  Rob had been fighting cancer for quite some time and other than those closest to him, nobody knew it.  He wasn’t looking for pity or an excuse to stop working.  In his suffering, he never said “Leave me alone”.

 

There are those that have an impact on you because you know them well and love them.  Others may have an impact on you because they are your leader, boss or coworker with which you interact frequently.  You may have an impact on others for those and other reasons.  But what impact are you making on those that hardly know you? On those who have simply spoken to you in a social setting, or may have helped you in a business setting?  What is said about you around the water cooler or in the conference room?  What will people feel or say about you when you are out of the room or gone forever?  Only your family will worry about the money you are leaving behind, but who you are, like Rob, may touch the lives of people you don’t even know are paying attention.  

 

So how does one go about leaving such an influence on others?  It doesn’t seem to be the type of thing you can plan for or map out.  I don’t even think it can be forced or manipulated.  It seems that we just need to be more genuine and kind each day in all aspects of our lives.

 

I did tell Rob thank you, many times, but I wish I could tell him how his life quietly influenced mine.

 

So how can you and I be more like Rob?  While taking a flight a few years back, the flight attendant who was making the announcement gave some good advice as we prepared to leave the plane.  I think it’s a good start:  “Be kind on purpose!”

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Update ... after this article was written and circulated, friends of Rob shared this picture of him.

  

 

 

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